Strong Woman

I just read a twitter comment from one of my favorite DJ’s  DJ Scratch which said, “Men: You are a representative of what kind of Woman that’s in your corner. Choose a strong Woman.”

This is an intriguing post and my mind started going immediately.

What is a “Strong Woman?”  Strong how?  Do I look for a woman like Nicki Fuller who can probably bench press me?  Does a woman’s strength depend on how much money she makes or how independent she is?  Is it deeper than this?

I know a woman who is as independent as they come.  She owns her own business and is very successful at what she does.  she creates her own product and ships it to her clients nationwide.  She created her own marketing plan without any help from anyone.  She researches changes in the market on her own and does her own accounting.  She lives alone and pays her own bills with her money made from her trade.  She is drop dead gorgeous and knows this, and if I posted a picture of her, the men who read this (and maybe some women) would immediately ask me for her info.  She doesn’t need a man.  She had one once, but he wasn’t down with her plan.  He wanted her to compromise some of her independence for the sake of a deeper relationship.  She refused.  She lives an admirable life which is her version of the American Dream and will fulfill her goals.  She is a “strong woman.”

I know a woman that is as beautiful as a summer’s sunset.  She is educated, but she identifies more with being a wife and mother than an independent woman.  She loves and nurtures her children, and teaches them ways to live in this world free despite the confines imposed by society.  She keeps her home clean and full of fresh food.  Her husband loves her unconditionally and although he is the main breadwinner, he takes her contributions as seriously as his own.  (monetary, social, educational to his children)  She is his ideal woman.  A loving woman.  A “Strong Woman.”

I know a woman that could completely embarrass you on the basketball court.  She is well over 6′ tall with skills!  She is the type that you wouldn’t hesitate to choose in a pickup game with your boys, she is THAT GOOD.  Of the court, she is just like a dude.  Although she is far from gay, she has a presence and confidence that will make most women uncomfortable at how she can flirt with the same dudes she crossed over and shot a jumpshot in their eyes.  And she looks GOOOOOOOD too.  You need to step your game up if you want to deal with her.  She is a “Strong Woman.”

As you can see, the term Strong Woman can vary so much.  However, one must realize that to be considered strong in one area also hints that you are weak in other areas.  The gorgeous woman that owned her own business is as strong as it comes as far as doing what is best for her.  For this, she was willing to sacrifice meaningful relationships with men for her monetary and social success.  The reality is that she was also a very weak woman.  Weak emotionally.

The woman who could cross you up like Iverson was confident because of her skills and looks.  One thing to keep in mind though is that she was over-compensating in some regard though.  Yes, she may really love basketball, but what about other responsibilities?  What about refraining from showing out to be admired, and tapping into other areas of the human element to know people on a deeper level, including herself?  She was definitely strong, but she was incomplete.  That lack of completion is a weakness.

The woman who was dependent on her family according to societies new standards for women may appear weak.  (primarily a housewife, dependent on her husband as the provider, taking care of the kids)  The question is, does she want this, or this something YOU wouldn’t want and therefore you call her weak?  She is not helpless.  In fact she is empowered.  Without her, those children will fall by the wayside.  Without her, her husband is lost in a dirty home with takeout trays of food. (unhealthy)  Without her, the bond between father and children will be heavily strained.  Lives depend on her being there.  Out of all these examples, she is by far the strongest woman for her sacrifice for the good of the family alone.

Now please bear in mind that this is in no way a blog to say that all women belong as housewives.  You have to right to pursue whatever pleases you and fulfills your dreams.  Just understand that your dreams may cause you to forfeit somethings you want by default.  Whatever your choice is, be strong.