Drought in the Garden (E.O.L.)

14 04 2014

 They say that the seed you water is the one that grows.

This is true, and leads me to ask the question,

What have you planted? What are you watering?

Where are you spending your energy?

Have you tilled the land sufficiently?

Are you using organic seeds or GMOs?

Have you saturated the ground with the crap you have been through, for growth?

Or do you still carry that manure in a bag strapped to your shoulders?

Would you rather wait for Him to Make it Rain,

Before you show signs of movement in the soil?

or do you regularly soak the seed?

How often do you check the growth?

Do you neglect the plant after it sprouts,

Busy checking on the growth of other vegetation that does not offer sustenance?

Do you plant, looking to foster the growth of this herb until something better comes along?

And if something else sprouts fast, how do you know that isn’t just a weed,

Soaking up all the nutrients from the ground for its own agenda,

Never giving back to you the farmer,

Destined to shrivel up and die and leave the earth barren?

Why did you plant this seed in the first place if you knew that you did not have the patience to help it grow?

There are starving people elsewhere living in places

Where the ground is no longer yield a crop.

You are fortunate to have a healthy, good seed,

Which is ready to produce a healthy good plant,

The foundation for a healthy good harvest.

But you would rather focus on weeds

Of no medicinal or nutritional value.

Oh yes, it may be a beautiful rose.

But besides the smell and appearance, what else can it do for you?

It can’t feed you. It can’t cloth you.

It can’t heal you.

It only caters to your ego.

Is that the plant you want to water? Is this what you want to grow?

And how do you know that this plant won’t eventually trump the beauty of that rose?

What did you plant here that ruined this soil?

Why is it so difficult to just be in the moment,

And allow this beautiful plant to grow?


Open Letter to…

30 03 2014

Dear …,

I write this letter as a means of closure in the chapter of our friendship/relationship/business/whatever you want to call it.  I have taken plenty of steps back.  I have given you the benefit of the doubt.  I have, against my good judgement, remained calm and refrained from going H.A.M. on your people.  You STILL have not done the righteous thing to do, so at this point I am cutting you off completely.

Your people have disrespected me on a level that embarrassed you and supposedly prompted you to tell them to apologize to me.  This of course is only hearsay, being that you never called me back to confirm this or speak on it.  Nor have you forced the guilty party to atone for their transgressions.  I guess you figured you would just sweep that under the rug, similar to the way you apologized to me for violating.  In private.  Never in public.

Why didn’t you ever address these issues to everyone that was affected?  Why did you treat it like some big taboo secret that nobody was to mention?  Could it be because you still held resentment for my righteous action which trumped your cowardly actions?  REAL people would not only apologize for transgressions, but would take corrective measures to insure healing.  Or did you think that what occurred between you and I were small potatoes?  If so, why did things go south for you and everyone else involved since then?  Look at your group.  Things were never the same since I left, which is precisely why for the past 3 years you wanted me back.  You didn’t have to lie to me.  I hear it.  Everyone still speaks about it, just not to you.

All I ever wanted was for people to do the RIGHT thing.  You however, would much rather lie than do righteous action.  Tell the truth.

Tell them how you wanted me to run things and offered that opportunity to me 5 years ago.

Tell them how you really feel about their inner and outer weakness.

Tell them what you told me about myself and the other really good guy.  Tell them that you would have failed without us.

Or better yet, tell them the truth about themselves.

Tell them what they need to hear to avoid over compensating for a lack of ability.

Tell them something that will make them stop deifying your words and make them start living it.

Tell them something to make them better people in the long run, even if it means hurting their temporary feelings.


But I get it.  I can’t expect you to ever tell them the truth.  All of this is far too difficult if you constantly lie to yourself.

You know, the worst part of this is the fact that you had all the potential in the world to make these people better.  Instead you just enabled them to be worse.  That was NEVER supposed to be in your job description.  YOU KNOW THIS TOO!

How does it feel to purposely and knowingly lead these people astray?  Can you sleep at night safely knowing that one if not most of these people that depend on you can and will be hurt because you never gave them the necessary information they needed to become better?

I sure wouldn’t want that on my conscious.  I am glad I had nothing to do with all of this.

I am embarrassed to even be associated.  Moving forward, I will do everything in my power to NOT be associated with your foolishness.


In closing, you are a nice person.  Unfortunately you lack a spine.  This is where your niceness ends.  Being nice is not enough.  If MLK Jr. was nice, the Civil Rights movement would not have had such a strong necessary leader.  What have your niceties brought you except more drama and fake friends?  Real friends will tell you the truth, no matter what.  Regardless of if you are right or dead wrong.  And despite your choices, they will stand by your side and help you face the consequences of your decision.


Do you even have one of these?


Walk by me in the future and don’t acknowledge me.  I no longer acknowledge you.

Sincerely and in clear conscious,

J. Wellington


p.s. – I forgive you.  But please keep in mind, just because I forgive you does not mean that the bridge can ever be built again.  If you don’t believe it, break a glass on your kitchen floor, then apologize.  See if automatically comes back together.  1

Open Letter – Selfish

2 01 2012

One of the saddest things you can experience is loving someone that you know will not reciprocate it.

One hand cannot clap by itself.

You know you love that person, purely.  You don’t cheat.  You are committed.  You do what you need to do for the relationship.

You do what you can to be a better man or a better woman, but its just not good enough.

You are constantly judged on your shortcomings.  When you bring up an issue you have a problem with, which you would like to see a resolution to for the sake of the relationship, you are called out as judgmental.

You cannot make sacrifices alone.

You cannot change your entire being while your significant other remains the same.

You need to see an effort on their part.

Of course he/she is a wonderful person, and their friends can attest to that fact.  So can You, however their friends have not had an intimate relationship with them.

Friends stay around a person for a limited amount of time.  They go out for drinks.  They party.  They may even go on a vacation together.  They generally do “fun temporary activities” with them.

Friends don’t experience what they are like when they first wake up.

Friends don’t experience the bitchy moodswings.

Friends don’t get passionate kisses.

Friends don’t have sex.

Friends don’t have the intricacies of a deeply rooted relationship where the slightest wrong move can equate to hurt feelings or disrespect.

Friends are not privy to those extremely sensitive parts of a person.

This is why friendships last longer than romantic relationships.  If friendships were as close, they would be as fragile.

Real intelligent friends understand this and even though they want to protect their friend, they understand the delicate nature of these relationships and they avoid stepping on the sanctity of them.

These friends are rarities, so cherish them.

The problem is…

When these friends go home, and the celebration is over…

You will be left alone.

Is your pride worth losing something special?

Do you consider it special anymore?

There was a time when you were going through anguish praying for that “something special.”

Too often do we take what we were given for granted.


9 07 2010

As long as I am alive I will have something to say.  Keeping it inside is not an option.  I refuse to hold my tongue for anyone.  That person may or may not be in my life long anyway.  Nothing is guaranteed.  What is guaranteed to me however is this breath that I am taking RIGHT NOW.  I may not get the next one, so as long as I have this one I will use it the best way possible.  If this means I forfeit a future with people that claim to love me (Friends, Family, Spouse, Children) then so be it.

THIS IS ME.  You can make YOUR choice…

Random Rant #112,354

5 02 2010

1. I can’t stand the snow.  I don’t understand people who live in the north and dealing with it all the time.

2. For some dumb reason I went to Syracuse.

3. I am quite fortunate to know the people I know in the industry.

4. For good and bad reasons, they are why I wont put out my music for mass consumption.

5. If you want to hear it just ask.  Maybe I will say, “sure listen…”

6. Bacon

7. I hate being in debt.

8. #6 was for my roommate’s son.  (If you don’t understand, you wont)

9. I remember why I used to play video games without pause.  Now I pause before playing any game.

10. Books are so much more rewarding.

11. I am a firm believer in reading books and taking notes on what was read like it was class or something.  You get so much more out of it.

12. Everyone needs to read Ishmael by Daniel Quinn.

13. Even after reading it, nobody will do anything to help “the situation.”

14. I love my attitude on life.  It’s what got me to where I am today.  If it intimidates you, then you need to become a stronger person or get away from me.  I am not changing for anyone.

15. “we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are…” – Shi Yan Ming

16. If I walked up to you, hardly knowing you, and told you to cut your hair because you look ugly, would you?

17. Lying to people only makes things worse for them.  Its selfish.

18. Public Gyms have way too much eye candy.

19. I wonder how much brain candy is in them.  (like I really give a care…)

20.I remember when people didn’t curse so damn much… lol

21. I actually wish that people as a whole didn’t.  Its about being more articulate.

22. What the hell ever…

23. I have a list of 76 qualities I am looking for in a life partner.

24. If a woman can hit 80% on that list, she is worth being talking to.

25. If she can maintain 80%, then she is worth being with.

26. After a while, she naturally becomes my 100%.  (awwwww…)

27. I’m not going to talk about the friend I have that is currently at 93%, because y’all will ask me the obvious question.

28. No its not Yvette.  I refuse to rate her.  (ewwww… that family for real…)

29. Most UFC fighters are average at best.

30. The best have admirable skill.

31. I would love to spar against Brock Lesner.  A man of his high skill level is truly an anomaly and worth testing one’s skill against.

32. I often fight to the level of my competition, unless they are ridiculously below me.

33. I will be this age in a month.

34. I may continue this later…