Love – Spread The Word Without Judging

31 12 2013
I am a follower of Christ and thus by default I love all people.  I am also a human and thus by default I am terribly flawed.  I believe the flaws inherently in us is part of the reason why we are told to avoid judging people.  We are also put here to be in community with one another and to form relationships with one another.  I believe that this is another reason why we are told to avoid judging each other.  Once someone places  themselves in a position to judge another, there is an automatic disconnect between the two.  There is no longer a community aspect, but it turns into a caste system of the elite showing the lowly the error of their ways.  If we as humans are equally flawed, then who are we to judge another.
There are plenty of reasons to avoid the judgment of others.  With that said, there is a huge difference between calling something a sin and judging people.  At times the appearance may be similar, but there remains a vast difference.  Now, the difference does have to be distinct and one’s intention has to be apparent to avoid the confusion.  As followers of Christ, the last thing we want to do it condemn someone “in Jesus name,” especially when His whole mission and purpose was to redeem us and save us from a greater judgment.  At the same time, we want to let the truth be told so that everyone is very clear on what our Lord expects.  Nobody wants to be told that they are a bad person, or doing wrong, especially when their personal moral system tells them different.
So how do we do this?  It seems like everyone that attempts this will be called out as judgmental or anti-whatever.  Just recently Phil Robertson from the show Duck Dynasty was called out as being anti-gay for trying to do this.  Numerous church leaders, athletes, musicians, movie stars, and celebrities have been called out as being anti-whatever for their stances and/or statements on subjects such as homosexuality, marriage, racism, gender equality, etc.  Well, I am not here to defend anyone’s decision, words, or actions.  I do have suggestions for how to better get one’s point across if you happen to have conflicting opinions or beliefs.  The key is in how to communicate these beliefs.
Before I get into the communication of these beliefs, first of all, we have to truly think about the issue and do some soul searching on our own thoughts and feelings on the subject.  The better you understand your own perspective, the better you can communicate it and the better you can deal with it.  Keep in mind, you are human.  You can change.  You can learn.  You can grow.  An example would be, if you have a problem with gay people, ask yourself, “what about them bothers me?”  Answer the question and ask other questions about that subject.
“Is it because it’s a sin?  Do I react the same way to other sins?  Lying is a sin too.  Why do I not react the same way?  If the sin of it isn’t the real reason, what is?”
Ask yourself until it gets awkward.  Go in depth so you have a truly full understanding of the root of your problem.  If you cannot be this brutally honest with yourself, then you have no right whatsoever to judge anyone.  By asking all these questions you are judging yourself as you should, and if you can’t stand up to it, keep your lips shut about others.  Once you get to the root of the issue, deal with it.  Learn acceptance.  This is necessary because you are living in a world where diversity is prevailant and will not go away any time soon, and if you are a Christian, your Lord requires it of you.  If you need counciling to do this, so be it.  Take this seriously, for if you don’t learn acceptance, they could be sinners all day, and you will be joining them in the sin category too, once again making you both equal in God’s sight.
Ok, so after you are done with this stage (it should take a while) then you should default to rules of engagement with people.  This is known as Jesus’ commandment to us as His followers.  (John Chapter 13 verses 33-35)  The passage basically says love one another as I loved you.  This is not limited to your friends and families, but goes to your enemies, strangers, and everyone.  When I say this, I mean that in all your conversations you have, default to love.  Make sure that if nothing else comes across in your speech, that the concept of love is primary.  If you are asked about if something is a sin, be straight forward on what the bible says, and immediately cover that statement with a statement about how God loves you and how YOU love them too.  Reach out to the people you are speaking about.  Have them in your community.  Embrace them as your own to show that love.  It’s really hard for someone to be seen as a racist or a bigot if they surround themselves with the very people that they are speaking about.  If you give your time and money to help the people you are speaking about, then who can really say you are uneducated about them or hate them?  Who hates someone so much that they are going to put all their life savings in a charity to help that person they hate?  Does that even make sense?
By doing these actions, you will quickly find yourself and your community growing.  You will make new friendships and alliances.  You will learn more about others and others will learn more about you.  People will appreciate you for what you do and eventually for who you are, and the same will occur for you.  But notice where all of this began?  You had to first have a GOOD understanding of yourself.  Please keep in mind that this has to be an ongoing process.  You have to keep sharpening the knife and understand who you are and how that stacks up with who God wants you to be.  From there, the rest is following his commandments and growing relationships with EVERYONE since we are supposed to love everyone.
Yes, this is MUCH harder to do than to say.  I am no expert at this, but I see this as a method that can help, and if I have something that can help you, why not share it with you?  Peace be with you my friend.

Note To Self…

18 12 2013
  • Anyone who is slow to apologize for their wrong doing is not worth investing time in.
  • Any woman who calls herself or her friends the term “Diva” is bound to be selfish at the core, regardless of how nice of a person they may seem to be.  Just stay away from them.  The reason is in the definition of the word.
  • Anyone who is disillusioned enough to make statements like “I can lose weight by doing Yoga” will never accomplish their goals.  They are too caught up in their own perceptions and will only be corrected by experience or someone they respect.  The last few words says it all.  (Bounce)
  • Beware of self-sabotaging people.  Some people just can’t live life without drama, so they will self-impose it when necessary.  (Example:  Moving cross country for a new job opportunity after less than a year, when you have an equivalent great job with a great company that is looking to promote you.
  • A person’s home environment is the physical manifestation of their inner being.  (Example:  If their mind is a cluttered mess, their home will follow suit.
  • Beware of people who care more about perception than introspection.  If they are so quick and willing to lie to themselves, how much more you?
  • Prayer is great, but prayer and work is better.
  • NOTHING will change if you do not work at it.
  • Anyone who is willing to kiss you before they know you is backwards.  You can’t build a house roof first.  (Really?  The hell is on your mind?)
  • People who hold secrets need to realize that eventually someone will find out what they are.  Better to not have any secrets.  (Example: Having a stint as a married man’s side chick;  A number of meaningless sexual encounters with Jose, etc.)
  • Mean what you say, say what you mean, or just don’t talk.
  • If someone is willing to work with you on something, take advantage if you really want it.  If not, be truthful about that too.
  • The words one uses to describe themselves says EVERYTHING about the person’s character.  Listen closely.
  • The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree (for the most part.)  Observe the tree and know the fruit.
  • Anyone who is hell-bent on being miserable needs to be left alone to their misery.  That is where they are the most content.  K.I.M.
  • Anyone who does excessive traveling/partying/drugs/alcohol is trying their best to escape something within their reality.  Watch the signs and move accordingly.
  • Anyone who excessively uses social media as an outlet to post an unordinary number of pictures, videos, or statements, with the (hidden) purpose of letting us know how awesome their lives are, is hiding something ugly.  Watch what you advertise.
  • Don’t use items to project a persona other than your own.  Life is too short to hate yourself so much that you need to try to be someone else.
  • Anyone that cannot show emotion easily is broken, fake or both.
  • Avoid those that will incite anger in you, however understand that we are all going through this life thing once and at the same time.  Focus on making the world a better place in your section.
  • If they don’t understand you, and you made several failed attempts to show them who you are, let them be.  They aren’t supposed to be in your life.
  • If they are too frightened to address you respectfully, stay you, stay cool, understand they are weak, and let it go without animosity.
  • Don’t focus on romance.  Focus on relationship.  Friends are the best if they are real.  They will always be there for you, if they are real.
  • If they don’t trust you, they don’t know you.  Make a decision to give them time to get to know you or not.
  • You can teach intelligence.  You can’t teach a good heart.
  • If she is trying to be something other than a woman, then accept that she isn’t what you are looking for.  (regardless of what she looks like.)
  • Reach out to those who stimulate your mind.  They are great friend material.  (Hi Ms. Moore!)
  • What you inspire is what I reciprocate.  (But this is hardly a new mantra.)

Move On – Heal Yourself

18 12 2013

No introduction.  I will get straight to the point.  You have to move on completely before that person that is perfect for you arrives. 

 Many people say they moved on, but it’s a lie.  People who moved on do not continue to listen to those, “empower yourself to move on” songs.  They don’t post those, “I am strong and I am moving on” meme’s.  They don’t constantly talk about what they don’t want out in a relationship bringing up the past failures of an ex. 

 These are signs that you are still fighting the battle to move on.  You will know that you moved on when you no longer have to actively try to empower yourself.  You no longer have to tell yourself how strong you are.  Your strength will be self-evident.  You no longer have to talk about how your ex ruined his or her shot.  You will be focused on the next personal victories you are about to accomplish, and they will have nothing to do with a romantic relationship.  You wont talk about peace, for you will be AT peace, and there is a BIG difference in that. 

 Don’t get me wrong.  I understand your struggle very well.  I have gone through/going through my own that has similarities.  You need time to mourn your loss.  I get it.  Take as much time as you need to do so.  This is why I know that eventually you have to go beyond knowing the path, to actually walking the path.