Strong Woman

20 05 2010

I just read a twitter comment from one of my favorite DJ’s  DJ Scratch which said, “Men: You are a representative of what kind of Woman that’s in your corner. Choose a strong Woman.”

This is an intriguing post and my mind started going immediately.

What is a “Strong Woman?”  Strong how?  Do I look for a woman like Nicki Fuller who can probably bench press me?  Does a woman’s strength depend on how much money she makes or how independent she is?  Is it deeper than this?

I know a woman who is as independent as they come.  She owns her own business and is very successful at what she does.  she creates her own product and ships it to her clients nationwide.  She created her own marketing plan without any help from anyone.  She researches changes in the market on her own and does her own accounting.  She lives alone and pays her own bills with her money made from her trade.  She is drop dead gorgeous and knows this, and if I posted a picture of her, the men who read this (and maybe some women) would immediately ask me for her info.  She doesn’t need a man.  She had one once, but he wasn’t down with her plan.  He wanted her to compromise some of her independence for the sake of a deeper relationship.  She refused.  She lives an admirable life which is her version of the American Dream and will fulfill her goals.  She is a “strong woman.”

I know a woman that is as beautiful as a summer’s sunset.  She is educated, but she identifies more with being a wife and mother than an independent woman.  She loves and nurtures her children, and teaches them ways to live in this world free despite the confines imposed by society.  She keeps her home clean and full of fresh food.  Her husband loves her unconditionally and although he is the main breadwinner, he takes her contributions as seriously as his own.  (monetary, social, educational to his children)  She is his ideal woman.  A loving woman.  A “Strong Woman.”

I know a woman that could completely embarrass you on the basketball court.  She is well over 6′ tall with skills!  She is the type that you wouldn’t hesitate to choose in a pickup game with your boys, she is THAT GOOD.  Of the court, she is just like a dude.  Although she is far from gay, she has a presence and confidence that will make most women uncomfortable at how she can flirt with the same dudes she crossed over and shot a jumpshot in their eyes.  And she looks GOOOOOOOD too.  You need to step your game up if you want to deal with her.  She is a “Strong Woman.”

As you can see, the term Strong Woman can vary so much.  However, one must realize that to be considered strong in one area also hints that you are weak in other areas.  The gorgeous woman that owned her own business is as strong as it comes as far as doing what is best for her.  For this, she was willing to sacrifice meaningful relationships with men for her monetary and social success.  The reality is that she was also a very weak woman.  Weak emotionally.

The woman who could cross you up like Iverson was confident because of her skills and looks.  One thing to keep in mind though is that she was over-compensating in some regard though.  Yes, she may really love basketball, but what about other responsibilities?  What about refraining from showing out to be admired, and tapping into other areas of the human element to know people on a deeper level, including herself?  She was definitely strong, but she was incomplete.  That lack of completion is a weakness.

The woman who was dependent on her family according to societies new standards for women may appear weak.  (primarily a housewife, dependent on her husband as the provider, taking care of the kids)  The question is, does she want this, or this something YOU wouldn’t want and therefore you call her weak?  She is not helpless.  In fact she is empowered.  Without her, those children will fall by the wayside.  Without her, her husband is lost in a dirty home with takeout trays of food. (unhealthy)  Without her, the bond between father and children will be heavily strained.  Lives depend on her being there.  Out of all these examples, she is by far the strongest woman for her sacrifice for the good of the family alone.

Now please bear in mind that this is in no way a blog to say that all women belong as housewives.  You have to right to pursue whatever pleases you and fulfills your dreams.  Just understand that your dreams may cause you to forfeit somethings you want by default.  Whatever your choice is, be strong.





…What it is…

19 05 2010

Apparently I have struck a cord with some people!  Cool!  However, it may have been an off key.  My previous blog may have been misunderstood (or differently understood) to some of the readers.  With that said, I will attempt to clarify my words a little more.

I highly recommend everyone to go out and read Ishmael by Daniel Quinn (OR Story of B or My Ishmael by Quinn).  Reading any of those works will give greater insight into the movie Avatar.  It will also give you a bit more input into what I write.

I have been studying Tai Chi philosophy lately among other things lately.  The martial art is basically about the balance of yang and yin.  If approached in a yang manner, you utilize yin to redirect or nullify your opponents attack and redirect it into your opponent.  ITs a great balancing act which actually mimics nature as a whole throughout the universe.  When an action is done, it usually comes back around in some sense, way, shape or form.  Every action has a consequence, and its usually good to keep yourself in balance with your consequences.

Example:  Those that have a healthy diet and exercise regularly have the consequence of good health.  Those that eat poorly and do not exercise have the consequence of poor health.

This all seems basic, but it branches beyond that.  actions that you may deem positive may be for you, but not for all.

Example:  A lioness makes a killing for her family to eat.  Positive for the little lions.  Negative for the Gazelle that got caught.  IS this a bad thing?  Is this a good thing?  The answer is no.  Its just a thing.

When Jake Sully got saved from the pack of dogs by Neytiri, she said it was a sad thing.  To Jake, it was great that his butt got saved.  Again, who’s perspective is right or wrong?

People look at Yang and yin as good and bad, positive and negative, right and wrong.  The reality is that its really just a concept of opposites that are co-dependent on one another and often blur the lines of one another.  Once we learn that there “just is” then we gain the ability to form and shape.  This is not to say that you will smile when something terrible happens to you.  However, later on just realize what makes that event “terrible.”  Its not the event, just your perspective.

Once you realize its your perspective that makes something good or bad, you have the ability to form and shape your life as easily as your perspective.

Positivity is an illusion. (and it can be yours)

Negativity is an illusion.  (it can be yours too)

just a thought… reflect on it deeply… This mindset can be extremely peaceful or wrecklessly war-like…  There are some instances where the lines are not blurred and there is trully right vs wrong, but that is another subject and another blog.





IT is…

19 05 2010

Everyone is the champion of their own cause. Everyone is the hero of their own story. Few step outside of their own story to learn about how their actions effect other people, and even fewer are changed after they learn how they effect others. Who have you oppressed lately? Your personal good is someone’s evil. Be proud of it. Its all YOUR FAULT. This is the balance of yang and yin. (is it right? Is it wrong?)





On May 10th of the year XXXX I was probably thinking…

10 05 2010

 

1977 – o_O

1978 – Ann Gwacie pick me up!!!!

1979 – I want to play with bolla Philip!

1980 – How do we use that Beta thing?

1981 – That rap song Phillip dubbed off 92 KTU was fresh!

1982 – When will I go to school mommy?!?!?!

1983 – Nice to meet you Brendan…  lets play legos

1984 – Lets try breaking again…  dont step on the fat laces…

1985 – Shut up Augie!  x 134

1986 – Who would want to go into space anyway?

1987 – What do you mean you are moving?  (damn)

1988 – I wonder what 6th grade will bring… I can’t stand this lady…

1989 – …I need to hang around her this summer…

1990 – man… so-and-so looks good as hell!!!

1991 – Yea, football… that sounds like fun…

1992 – You want me to start what?

1993 – I”m wrecking y’all this year…

1994 – Ok…  Apparently I have to beat every last one of you up to get respect.  This year its personal… and I refuse to get injured…

1995 – Adsiduum…

1996 – This is going to be a great summer…

1997 – She would never cheat… what for?

1998 – Spinal what?!?!?!

1999 – Lord, please keep me sane for just a few more days…

2000 – Lord, please take care of Daddy…

2001 – Man… I need to move out…

2002 – Man…  I need to move again…

2003 – All you women are f(&%$# crazy…

2004 – Time to find a martial hall…

2005 – Damn this stalker…

2006 – She is nice, but not the sharpest pencil in the box…

2007 – Thank God I don’t have to read anymore of those emails…

2008 – Whatever… im beat with yall anyway…

2009 – Oh my goodness… Can this be real?

2010 – your loss… your loss… your loss… your loss… her gain…. and mine too.





The Singular Story…

6 05 2010

PLEASE CLICK HERE

Eighteen minutes of knowledge.  Please watch/listen and please apply to your life.  We all have many stories and they all must be told.

This reminds me of a song by my friend Poison Pen called What’s Hood?  He describes many instances of life in his neighborhood of Bedford Stuyversant, Brooklyn New York, and not just the painful life which is regurgitated in raps every day, but the fact that there is a lot of joy in between those tears as well.

Blessings to all people everywhere.